I don't know what I want anymore

Sometimes you look at other relationships and you could not help but wonder about your own.

Sometimes you see what other couples have, that magical, unspoken bond, and you are so envious of what they have that it makes you hurt.

Sometimes you try to look pass every wrongs and left turns in your own relationship, but they never fail to come back and haunt you.

Sometimes you adore they way other couples interact, laugh, make jokes, but there is nothing you can do to have what they have.

Sometimes you make mistake, but you keep telling yourself that the 'happily ever after' will come someday.




I know I made mistakes in my choices before. Maybe I'm making yet another one.

Because we are humans

All the lies, backstabbing, trust-breaking. Why do humans do that? We live in a world where no one should be trusted. Trust someone, and that person will destroy you. Trust someone with your biggest secret or fear, and the next thing you know, everyone knows about it. Was it so hard to keep a secret to ourselves? If I can keep your secret, then why can't you keep mine? If I supported you, why can't you support me? If I never lied to you, why in hell would you lie about me? You were never better than me in any ways, never ever. So why do you think you are? I know I am not a saint, but neither are you. At this moment all I believe in is God. Allah please lend me Your strength and show me the right path. Amin.

BADASS

Am I a bad person for wanting so many things but never actually do anything to get them?

Nak jadi kaya tp malas save duet.

Nak jadi kurus tp makan mcm kobau lembu.

Nak jadi solehah tp x berjinak-jinak ngan tudung lg.

Nak jd adult tp x leh berenti whining.



Ya Allah, tolonglah hamba-Mu yang hina ini.


(After all, I need to compete with a Natalie-Portman-look-alike doctor.)

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder

He told you you are pretty.

But he also thinks that his ex is pretty.



Yeah that hurts a little bit.

Thank you, friends.

I still remember how three years ago when I fell in love with a man performing Hakka in Auditorium IPBA. It seems peculiar how different I was then, and how am I looking at the incident now. It's more unusual having to go up the stage and being in the shoes of the guy who performed Hakka.

But let's forget about the guy for a while or the love story behind that night, since those are not the point of this post. The point is, how I have changed since that night. I was the audience then, and now I'm gonna be the performer. Hence, in the shoes of the guy who performed Hakka.

I can't exactly recall how I agreed to join the UoA-VUW skit team, but I said yes eventually. And I couldn't be happier I joined the team. Frankly, it's the only joyful moments I have in two weeks, with all the overflowing assignments and whatnot. At the end of the day, dancing awkwardly while trying hard to remember all the steps is what I look forward to, every single day. Yes, it's tiring and requires serious commitment and discipline amidst the non-stop ass kicking assignments, but I'm still thankful after each practice. Thank you God for reminding me that life still has its ups.

And I forgot how much I've grow. By grown I mean how much I have aged since three years back. Back then, jumping around is normal and considered healthy. Now, jumping around makes you sweat half dead, possibly straining your ankles and pulling all your veins out of your blood system. Not to forget the kebas-kejang-sakit-urat part. Yes, I have aged. I'm slower and more fragile, but that doesn't make me love dancing any less, even if I suck at it. If possible, I love it all the more.

I'm just thankful with the companions I have nowadays. A lot of people has been brightening my days with laughter, love and food. Yes, food. They helped me through thick and thin, through sorrow and happiness. Thank you, friends. I love you all. =)

The Fear

Finally, my fear of driving is gone!

Well, maybe, a bit here and there, but not enough to stop me from going out on the road! Yeay!

Having a girls day out is so much fun! (random much?)

Oh.My.God.

Quit it already.

You're not cool.

What you're doing is not cool.

What you're saying is not cool.

It never was, it never will be.

So please, quit trying so hard.

For your own sake.

April Scream

April will be a mess. A disaster. Why IPBA has to be super hectic? I don't get it.

Argghhhhh!!!!!!!