Loyal readers

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

My life upside down

Recently found out that the people I care about all this while, have been backstabbing, trying to bring me down, and lying directly to my face. And there goes my life. Being torn, moved upside down. I am just thankful I still have friends who won't ditch me no matter what happens. No matter what wrongs I've done. They won't leave me all alone.


Sunday, September 5, 2010

Almost Raya.

It's almost Raya. The time of forgiveness. But some people just can't stop being mean, can they? For some reason. Kenapa eh?

It's okay. I forgive you. Not trying to be noble or shit. Just trying to erase the bad memories and start over.

Be mean to me, it's okay. I'll keep quiet. I'll just ignore it. Be mean to the people I care about, well, you're just asking for it, don't you? Try and you'll know what will happen.

I'd love to see you try. Love to. Loveeee to.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Payback's a bitch? No. I am.

Hey fucktards.

Thanks for letting me know I'm not needed anymore.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

Orang cakap, bulan puasa syaitan semua kena ikat, kena rantai.

So kalau kita (aku, sepcifially) buat jahat tu, kiranya diri sendiri mmg dah jahat la? Tak payah kena hasut ngan setan?

Ish nak berubah banyak benda, tapi tak tau nak start yg mana dulu.

Monday, August 2, 2010

I'm riding solo

I was so fucking scared of this. Being single around couples.

But, I've never felt so alive. So free. Just WOW.

Monday, July 5, 2010

What we have now

Have you ever done something bad, really bad, but it makes you feel good? No I'm not talking about drugs. Something not-so-big, like smile to yourself when you get a better grades from others, or do something that you know will cause someone else to get mad just because you want to get even.

I feel like this is the wrong thing to do, but it's a right choice. YOU drove me to do this. YOU drove me into this situation, and YOU choose to ignore the problems.

But that's ok. Because this might actually be for the best.

p/s: Let's not be selfish, ok? People won't like you, even less.

Friday, June 18, 2010

High heels

(Image is a courtesy of istockphoto)

"Wearing high heels pitches a woman's body forward, lifts her buttocks 25 percent, arches her back, makes her breasts stand at attention, elongates her calves, and causes her hips to sway seductively when she walks," explains Susan Reynolds, author of Change Your Shoes, Change Your Life."

Hurm. Interesting...

Thursday, June 17, 2010

In your face! Haha!

Never I imagined that I've been messing with your pretty little head, since forever! Hah! =D

I didn't planned anything, but since you brought me into your head and claim this and that about me, I guess I'm messing with your head even when I don't know I'm doing it! Terima kasih for everything, btw. Tuhan Maha Adil, after all.

Isn't unplanned revenge is just so wonderful? =)

Sidenote: You are self-destructing. I didn't do anything, and I won't. Keep up the good work! Haha! =D

And for the record, your thoughts are silly+childish back then, and still, even today. Please lah.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


I randomly came across this short story. Sometimes blessings in life come in the simplest form.

"My parents have been married for 35 years.

The other day my mom told me that when my dad calls her up at work to see if she wants to grab a cup of coffee, she still gets butterflies in her stomach.

Their everlasting love gives me hope."

Gave me hope, too. =)

Friday, June 4, 2010

Things that can turn me mental (as of currently)

1. Steak
2. Thailand
3. Kayak
4. Satay
5. Lipton drinks

I'll Be Your Voice

From the very begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......

The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.

During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....

The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.

When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

Monday, May 31, 2010

I don't know what I want anymore

Sometimes you look at other relationships and you could not help but wonder about your own.

Sometimes you see what other couples have, that magical, unspoken bond, and you are so envious of what they have that it makes you hurt.

Sometimes you try to look pass every wrongs and left turns in your own relationship, but they never fail to come back and haunt you.

Sometimes you adore they way other couples interact, laugh, make jokes, but there is nothing you can do to have what they have.

Sometimes you make mistake, but you keep telling yourself that the 'happily ever after' will come someday.

I know I made mistakes in my choices before. Maybe I'm making yet another one.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Because we are humans

All the lies, backstabbing, trust-breaking. Why do humans do that? We live in a world where no one should be trusted. Trust someone, and that person will destroy you. Trust someone with your biggest secret or fear, and the next thing you know, everyone knows about it. Was it so hard to keep a secret to ourselves? If I can keep your secret, then why can't you keep mine? If I supported you, why can't you support me? If I never lied to you, why in hell would you lie about me? You were never better than me in any ways, never ever. So why do you think you are? I know I am not a saint, but neither are you. At this moment all I believe in is God. Allah please lend me Your strength and show me the right path. Amin.

Sunday, May 2, 2010


Am I a bad person for wanting so many things but never actually do anything to get them?

Nak jadi kaya tp malas save duet.

Nak jadi kurus tp makan mcm kobau lembu.

Nak jadi solehah tp x berjinak-jinak ngan tudung lg.

Nak jd adult tp x leh berenti whining.

Ya Allah, tolonglah hamba-Mu yang hina ini.

(After all, I need to compete with a Natalie-Portman-look-alike doctor.)

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder

He told you you are pretty.

But he also thinks that his ex is pretty.

Yeah that hurts a little bit.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Thank you, friends.

I still remember how three years ago when I fell in love with a man performing Hakka in Auditorium IPBA. It seems peculiar how different I was then, and how am I looking at the incident now. It's more unusual having to go up the stage and being in the shoes of the guy who performed Hakka.

But let's forget about the guy for a while or the love story behind that night, since those are not the point of this post. The point is, how I have changed since that night. I was the audience then, and now I'm gonna be the performer. Hence, in the shoes of the guy who performed Hakka.

I can't exactly recall how I agreed to join the UoA-VUW skit team, but I said yes eventually. And I couldn't be happier I joined the team. Frankly, it's the only joyful moments I have in two weeks, with all the overflowing assignments and whatnot. At the end of the day, dancing awkwardly while trying hard to remember all the steps is what I look forward to, every single day. Yes, it's tiring and requires serious commitment and discipline amidst the non-stop ass kicking assignments, but I'm still thankful after each practice. Thank you God for reminding me that life still has its ups.

And I forgot how much I've grow. By grown I mean how much I have aged since three years back. Back then, jumping around is normal and considered healthy. Now, jumping around makes you sweat half dead, possibly straining your ankles and pulling all your veins out of your blood system. Not to forget the kebas-kejang-sakit-urat part. Yes, I have aged. I'm slower and more fragile, but that doesn't make me love dancing any less, even if I suck at it. If possible, I love it all the more.

I'm just thankful with the companions I have nowadays. A lot of people has been brightening my days with laughter, love and food. Yes, food. They helped me through thick and thin, through sorrow and happiness. Thank you, friends. I love you all. =)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Fear

Finally, my fear of driving is gone!

Well, maybe, a bit here and there, but not enough to stop me from going out on the road! Yeay!

Having a girls day out is so much fun! (random much?)

Sunday, March 28, 2010


Quit it already.

You're not cool.

What you're doing is not cool.

What you're saying is not cool.

It never was, it never will be.

So please, quit trying so hard.

For your own sake.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

April Scream

April will be a mess. A disaster. Why IPBA has to be super hectic? I don't get it.


Saturday, March 13, 2010

I wish...

I wish I could go back to my childhood years. When I had nothing to worry about. When times flies and the only thing that matter is to finish your homework asap so you can go out and play with your friends. When body image, self- esteem issues and life partners never meddle the little brain. Too bad we all have to grow up. To become our own person, and with years that transform our little brains to mature ones, comes along the responsibilities, problems, workload, and relationships. Sometimes I wonder how one can be so laid back in one's life. How one can be so confident and comfortable in one's own skin. How everyone else solve their problems and get on with their lives, even when their problems are bigger than mine. God, please send me someone to lean on. I feel like I'm being left behind.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

A lesson on life

Life teaches you countless lessons.

It doesn't have a face, it doesn't have a voice. But still, it teaches you many, many things.

When you fall and no one was there to help you get up, it teaches you that you are on your own in this world.

When you cry your eyes out for someone you love but no one was there to console you, it teaches you that you need to start act mature and stop crying like a baby.

When you are in trouble but no one was there to lend a helping hand, it teaches you that you need to get up on your own feet and help yourself.

When you're in a middle of a huge crisis and you desperately look everywhere for a glint of hope, but there was no one to help you through it, it teaches you that dependency on people is a full load of empty promises.

When you're simply alone and need someone to talk to but no one was there, it teaches you that sometimes life is just shitty like that.

So many things life can teach us, that even the best teachers in schools couldn't. Subjects like self-esteem, motivation, friends, love, money.

But at the end of the day, the most important lesson is that you are all alone in this. We're all in this together? Bullshit. That's just a lyrics from High School Musical's song.


Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Things are different, but better

I used to think that being in an open relationship would destroy the relationship itself, but apparently I was wrong. Opening your view and looking from others' perspectives deeply, sure helps. And imagine being in others' shoes. Avoid negative thoughts and suspicions. Think positively about the issue at hand, and InsyaAllah everything will go just fine.

It's not as bad as I think it was, if you know where your loyalty stands.

p/s: Please feed me painkillers. Having a massive headache everyday is apparently not amusing (anymore)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Home made meal is the best meal there is

Two slices of sirloin meat/chicken breast

A bunch of Romaine salad

Baby tomatoes


Pinches of herbs and spices, according to your personal taste


A great companion


1. Marinade the meat with herbs and spices.

2. Grill the meat on low temperature for about 30 minutes.

3. Have fun.

4. Prepare the salad, mix lettuce with carrots and tomatoes.

5. Joke around with your companion, sing aloud and cook together.

And you'll have yourself the recipe for the perfect evening.

Sunday, February 21, 2010


What do you do when the person you trust most in this whole universe, breaks your heart and throw the pieces at your face? Do you cry? Do you get even? Do you commit suicide?

Monday, February 15, 2010

10 things I hate about you

I hate it when you make me wait.

I hate it when we fight, you never know what to say, and you will just keep your distance.

I hate it when we go out, you always turn out late, or worse, you never turn up at all.

I hate it when we plan something important but every time it has to be cancelled, it is always because of you.

I hate it even more when our plan is cancelled, you always managed to have a good time regardless of what I'm feeling or doing.

I hate it when you think I'm stupid, or not able to do something right.

I hate it when you say I think irrationally when I'm mad, cuz truth be told, I think I'm saying what you don't want to hear.

I hate it when you put football games before me.

I hate it when you think I always get mad for no reasons.

I hate it when you act ignorant when you make me mad. You should know, considering how long have we been together. But you will never going to change, will you?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

From the mind of an extreme carnivore

In my carnivorous state of mind, I had been craving for good steak for more than two weeks already. Along with this, comes with the desire need to try various steaks at various (mostly goddamn expensive) new places. Last two weeks, I have been thinking. 'Fuck money. I just want good food served before me'. This week I'm thinking, 'Fuck, I really need to watch out on my expanses!'

I found lots of bloggers who write about food, and what they ate at this posh restaurant, what they ate at that posh restaurants. To me it seems interesting to write about food, buy hey, in the financial situation that I'm in, I'm nowhere near qualified to write about food eaten in polish fine dinings. Still, I want to try and write about food, even if it's just for this 1 entry.

So here goes my budget food advice.


I tried the steak with high expectation, hearing from my friends and browsing through comments on the net. The queue to get into the restaurant itself was long, and we had to wait for about half an hour just to get a table. But when the food was served before my eyes (I had 10oz Aussie beef), I instantly know that it wont taste good. Hell, it doesn't even look good. I tried it nevertheless, and managed to finish it, being a carnivore that I am. The steak was dry, chewy like mentos, and the marinade sauce was rather tasteless. The mashed potato was surprisingly good, tho. I recommend you order mashed potato when you dine at Chili's, and forget about the steak. Rather noisy, not suitable for first dates whatsoever. Or when you are having a headache. It costs around rm130-150 for 2 people, and I would rather have char ketiau Stesen U, if you get what I mean.

Tony Roma's

I received a lot of positive feedback for this place, but it turns out to be one of those super expensive dining place, with poshed names, but average food. The staff were friendly nevertheless, but the quality of the food is rather unimpressive. I had 8oz sirloin steak, and my dinner companion had ribs. The steak was of better quality compared to Chili's, but not up to the expectation of it's name and restaurant. But at least it was chewable. The ribs were soft, but strangely sweet with a hint of spiciness. After a few bites, you might feel kinda dizzy from all the sweetness. Overall, it's a great experience dining there, and I would definitely say Tony Roma's if you are wondering whether to dine at Chili's or Tony Roma's. Plus the difference of the price of one meal was less that rm10 I think. Tony Roma's costs about rm150-170 for 2 people. So be ready to burn a huge hole in your pocket.

Fiske Steak House

One of the cheapest steak house I ever found. Located in the area of Wangsa Maju, this place might be a little difficult to spot since the location is not in a shopping mall. The atmosphere is more like a warung style, mostly because it's located among warungs. Next to it is Fiske Satay House, which I never tried before, but might someday. The most expensive meal on the menu is Mixed Grill, which is my favorite. It costs rm20 (yes, only rm20!) with a reasonably sized combination of lamb, chicken and beef grilled to perfection. So far this is my favorite place as it's affordable and within my budget range. Well, if I want to have steak twice a week at Tony Roma's, I would die of starvation for the next 2 million decade. Nevertheless, this is a good dining place for students with financial difficulties like myself. The quality is nothing to brag about, but at least the price is reasonable. Ask for extra black paper sauce, and they'll give you a whole bowl for free.

SEOUL Korean BBQ restaurant

Located at Plaza Pantai, Kerinchi LRT station, this restaurant surprised me. It's deco does not really reflect Korean restaurants, to be honest, but the food was yummy. It's a buffet restaurant, so you can eat till you bloat. It's very nice in a way that you cook your own food, so if you want raw, medium or well done, it's up to you. And the other good thing about it is that you can either cook the food like steamboat, or grill the meat on a hot pan. Truth be told, I didn't even touch the food in the steamboat pan, because I was busy turning over the meat on the grill. They have a variety of marinated beef and chicken and lamb and those fishballs you find in steamboats. The dessert was also good, ranging from agar-agar to pudding to ais kacang. Overall, I think this place is a good choice, but it is quite costly. rm48 per person for dinner buffet, rm 25++ for lunch buffet (but they might have less variety during lunch) and rm 21++ for students (from 12.30-2.30 only). And it's free for a birthday person accompanied by minimum of 5 paying adults, or 50% off for at least 1 paying adult.

Secret Recipe

DO NOT ORDER THE SPECIAL STEAK COMBO. The chunk of meat was braised, not grilled. The kind of meat you found in kenduri. Where people put them in gulai, but less tasty. The mushroom soup tastes like it was poured straight from a Campbell's can. Costs around rm70++ for 2 people. But trust me. you wouldn't want to eat there if you're craving for good steaks. Have a slice of cake instead, or have the brownies. Whatever you do, don't have the steak combo whatsoever. Remember, you have been warned.

All this food talk is making me feel hungry. Damn. Should go and search for food now. The carnivorous instinct is kicking in again. Till next time.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
-- Author Unknown

Monday, February 8, 2010

Because life (or is it love?) is funny like that.

According to you, I'm clingy, self-centred, irrational, attention-craving, always negative, a hater, difficult, spoiled brat, self-absorbed, unreasonable, selfish, egoistic, always depressed, unrealistic. According to me, you're wonderful, patient, smart, funny, tolerant, amusing, polite, good-hearted, charming, kind, responsible.

Funny how we don't see eye to eye, most of the times.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Dear you,

You don't know much about me.

So stop passing judgements.

Mind your own fucking life.

Thank you.

Yours hatefully,

Friday, January 29, 2010

Home sweet home

At currently at home.

Am content.

For now.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Kenapa sekarang aku suka merungut?

Sekarang ni keja banyak.

Assignments whatnot.

Ditambah pula dgn bebanan hidup.

Duit, cinta, kawan, belajar.

Semua pon susah.

Tiap2 hari aku merungut.

Tiap2 hari jugak aku marah.

Tiap2 hari aku emosional.

Tapi aku still tak bertindak.



Kena berubah ni.


p/s: LIfe in IPBA sgt2 lah boring. Kenapa oh kenapa?

Saturday, January 16, 2010

9to5, 5to9

I'm tired just being the 5to9 wife.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Ridiculous laws around the world


It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.

Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.

You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.

It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses.


Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.

Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.

You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.

One may not use one's own restroom if the window is open.


It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.

Lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a patron.


You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.

One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.

Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.

It is against the law to make faces at dogs.

It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.


No one may catch fish with his bare hands.

No one may wear a bee in their hat.

Musical car horns are banned.

All cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival.

Hitting a vending machine that stole your money is illegal.


It is illegal to stand around any building without a good reason to be there.

Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.

Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.

Red cars may not drive down Lake Street.

The land of 10,000 lakes declares mosquitoes a public nuisance.


It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.

It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.

It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.

It is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.

p/s: I have no idea if these are real laws or not, but they sure are bizzare and entertaining!